


Sunshine

by starryeyed_dyke



Category: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
Genre: Heroin, Overdose, Pills, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28585842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyed_dyke/pseuds/starryeyed_dyke
Summary: Next to Normal au where, before Natalie's junior year, her brother dies of an overdose.
Kudos: 4





	Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Overdose/Suicide Tw

[“Can you hear me, sunshine?”]

“No.” She stated simply, turning away from him and emptying one, two, three of the round pills into her palm.

[“You obviously can if you’re talking to me.”]

“No, I can’t.” She crossed her arms, inspecting the pills closer.

[“That’s a really idiotic thing you’re about to try.”]

“And you, sir, are one to talk.” Natalie snapped back, reaching out for her redbull. It had been moved across the room, earning a groan. “Stop doing that.” She stood, moving across the room to snatch it up and pour the contents into her mouth. There was barely any left but she could have sworn that it was half full a minute ago.

[“Just saying, that-”]

“I truly do not give a single shit.” Natalie turned towards him, a snarl leaving her lips. He bounced back, eyes wide at this almost animalistic side of his sister. “You don’t know what it’s like, superboy.” She then sat on her bed, popping all three pills into her mouth and dry swallowing. Her brother winced.

[“Please, don’t call me that.”]

“Why not?” She bit back, standing up to begin to pace, her stride fast and the floorboards creaking under her weight as she repeated the same lap around her bed. “That’s what you are! And me? Me, all I fuckin’ am, and all I will _ever_ be, is the Invisible Girl!”

[“Natalie, stop it! Stop acting like that!”]

“Stop acting like what!? The unstable little sister? The forgotten fucking child!? No, no I don’t think I will! I mean-”

[“Please, sunshine.”]

The nickname calmed her down right away. She then sunk into the bed, eyes wide as she felt herself starting to cry.

[He walked over and pressed a hand to her cheek.]

“I miss you.” She choked out, reaching up to place her own hand on his wrist, then tilting her face into his hand. He still smelled like those shitty cookies he would make when they were younger. God, it hurt to think that she was never going to taste those again. Hell, it hurt just to think that Gabe was never going to be real again.

[“I know that you do.”]

“You were a real fucking idiot. You… You… Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” Her voice raised as tears began to slide down her cheeks, hands starting to shake.

[“Shh, sunshine.”]

Her hands formed into fists and she punched at his chest. They were quite weak in retrospect, but she really didn’t want to fight back. She wanted to be held and cared for by her older brother but now he was gone. Heroin overdose. Found at 12:47 AM by his little sister who was having a nightmare.

Imagine being okay after that.

[“Stop fighting, it’s okay. Let me hold you.”]

“No! No, no, no!” She tried to push him away but in reality she really had no ability to. “You aren’t real! Not anymore! You killed yourself, Gabe!” She felt as one of his hands tangled in her thick hair and held her face against his neck as he sunk into the soft mattress besides her. “Stop it…! You aren’t real.”

[“Go to sleep, Nat. You haven’t been sleeping lately.”]

“You died.” She huffed, arms reluctantly wrapping around his waist and tugging him closer. He still felt warm despite his death. “You died and I found you. You killed yourself. You aren’t here. I’m losing my shit. I’m going off the fuckin’ wall.”

[“Please. Just sleep, alright? It will feel… better. It’ll feel better in the morning.”]

“You know it wont.” Natalie stubbornly spoke, her voice sad. “It isn’t gonna start feeling better. You- You’re six feet under in some damn graveyard. You aren’t here, you aren’t holding me, you aren’t talking.” She nestled her face further into his neck, inhaling slowly as she let herself begin to weep, the sobs racking her frame.

[“Come on, lay down, close your eyes.”]

She wasn’t able to fight his soft urging to do just that, as his hands started to guide her to lay on her side with her head rested on the pillow. The blankets were pulled over her, up to her face and covering her mouth and nose. She felt like she could hide in them as if she was some wild prey animal hiding from their predator. She felt her older brother press a kiss to her forehead and felt as his hand continued to run through her hair in that soft, soothing way he always did when she was having anxiety attacks.

[“I love you, Nat.”]

“You’re fucking dead.”

[“You still love me.”]

She hated the snark in his voice that made her feel at home. Perhaps, she supposed, his dumb jokes and the way his voice would get that egotistical tone because he knew he was right felt like home. This house surely was never home. It was always him, his voice and his smile and his idiotic comments. Most of the time, he was right. “Fine… Love you, moonbeam.”

**Author's Note:**

> lowkey me venting but? anyway. nat and gabe interactions make me emotional


End file.
